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If your wife has a mental illness that can make her cheat, but is in therapy and meds that have helped, stay?
My wife has Borderline Personality Disorder. She has sexually cheated once 8 years ago (full affair) with a "friend" of mine that I was hanging out with weekly and made out and groped with an old MARRIED high school sweetheart for hours and hours one night 4 years ago, then had an online emotional affair this year....but she embraces therapy and she has finally been properly diagnosed after a decade of misdiagnosed and ALWAYS knew something was wrong inside, something bad wrong mentally - should i give her some time to see how she progresses?
The problem is that its killing our kids when we fight. I found out 6 months ao all at once about her past from her. Divorce can trigger the disorder in our children if they have gottten the genetic factors of the disorder, I believe our youngest has the genetic predisposition. he shows early signs to look for in children. Abandonment (divorce) sets off a self-loathing and self-blame in people with the disorder as well as many forms of abuse.
Me leaving is what I want to do, and there are no garuntees that her meds wont lose effectivity as they often have in the past. I am not getting any younger at age 42. We were well-off once, but her impulsiveness in spending has broken us and we are filing for bankruptcy. 80% of all we had was attributed to my earnings. She hs not been a homeaker at any time. i feel i can get out of the poorhouse if i did not have her to be concerned with. the disorder has made me a caretaker of her and her crippled mother and i have given myself away slowly to where there is little left of me after this revelation of her infidelity. I have PTSD and cannot get it together to find a job when I used to be a high earner and all hopes of good schools for the kids are gone. but i am resourceful and could get it all back without her I feel.
Right now, with her new med doing the trick, it at least gives the kids a break from her raging and suicidal behaviors. If that returned, sheating or not, I would leave immediately. I am afraid the kids would be awarded to her. The courts are not educated on the fallout of this disorder. They are selfish people with no healthy fear of consequences. Parts of the brain do not consult each other and they tend to project all things bad onto the person closest to them. I am that person. So that justifies affairs and smearing me to anyone that will listen.
Borderlines are incapable of experiencing lasting joy or loving adults. they mimic love for children as they are arrested developmental children themselves. Children lie and do not behave or reason as adults. She has few reasoning skills which is why she makes bad decisions because she cant see consequences. They mirro people they are with. So if they hang with adultrous females, then they soon borrow that personality as they have no sense of "self". She has hung out with vile married women that cheat that she knew before they were this way, since childhood. They are all disordered women and formally diagnosed and all cheat. my wife is no longer allowed to go out, drink nor be with unapproved/agreed friends. That is how the therapist says it needs to be. I dont want to look like a controlling person to the world, but she needs watching. She is impulsive. i try to seprate the illness from the patient, but she says she 100% would leave me if i did what she did. but again, the kids are at risk either way.
Whomever responds should not have an easy answer for this one. one of our kids will be fine, the other may turn out to be disorder like her. Sadly, the youngest is at risk staying or going. i think our eldest becomes more at risk if I stay, but that is is she get custody for the school year period. We should live very far apart as Borderlines are notable for destroying you life for years post-divorce.
Also, should I tell the wife of the married man that she made out with and groped each other for hours 4 years ago while he had young babies at home with his wife watching them? I really need opinions on that as well.
Yes, i vowed "in sickness and in health" and she vowed to "forsake all others"...I have been there for 22 year of her sickness. The fact is, there is no cure for what she has, there is only treating the symptoms and her lack of impulse contol in matters of infidelity, staying out late, drinking, boobie contest because the other girls do it while I am watching our babies at home. make no mistake, she is accountable per her therapist. She is aware of what she does, she just doesnt think it through and selfishly doesnt think of the kids and how they lose.
Answer: "In sickness and in health, i make a solem wove to stay by your side, untill death do us part"
... isnt that what you said to her when you get married?
Category: Mental Health
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Are there time you just have to whip someones behind ?
I got into an online quarrel with another female last year. Turns out she was the GF of the guy I was seeing. He played and lied to us both. I confronted her with the truth and she got real funky with me
She posted some smack about me online . She said stuff about my looks and finances - about how I lack both and Im not worthy of her BF. But I never said anything about her then the facts about her BF cheating
That really insulted my ego and I feel that the only way I can get back is if I smack her at a party. No amount of money or a better looking man would solve this ego damage it seems.
I realize I can possibly get arrested or worse goto jail but I feel that it will be worth it becuz I will be laughing thinking about it. Should I do it ? Do you think there are just times you just have to kick someones butt ? I feel like this is the only and the best way to resolve my anger at this person
WHAT SHOULD I DO ?
Answer: Sometimes yes, an ass whoopin is all that you can do to resolve the problem...i've resorted to violence on certain occasions. And if you win...Damn it feels good!!!!!
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Is fighting someone sometimes worth it?
I got into an online quarrel with another female last year. Turns out she was the GF of the guy I was seeing. He played and lied to us both. I confronted her with the truth and she got real funky with me
She posted some smack about me online . She said stuff about my looks and finances - about how I lack both and Im not worthy of her BF. But I never said anything about her then the facts about her BF cheating
That really insulted my ego and I feel that the only way I can get back is if I smack her.
I realize I can possibly get arrested or worse goto jail but I feel that it will worth it becuz I will be laughing thinking about it. Should I do it ? Do you think there are just times you just have to kick someones butt ? I feel like this is the only and the best way to resolve my anger at this person
Category: Singles & Dating
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